Friday, 28 June 2013

Taste Test - Kinky Monkey

LT just returned from Taiwan and said she must give me something before it goes off, so we organised dinner together for this Friday night.  Of course we can't go out for dinner without her sister SA, the three of us almost always go out together.  SA and LT chose Kinky Monkey because it is listed in the Entertainment Book.


Kinky Monkey is tucked away in the residential area behind Crown Entertainment Complex and is surrounded by expensive apartments and townhouses which overlook the river.  It is one of two restaurants located on The Circus which is the street that Kinky Monkey is on.  When I arrived at 7:30pm on a Friday night, it was pretty quiet - there were only two other tables occupied - LT and SA had already arrived and had chosen what they wanted to order so all I had to do was to choose what I wanted to add on.

Our order
Entrée
  • Crispy Potatoes (crisp potatoes with brava sauce & aioli) $8
  • Eggplant Chips (finely cut eggplant served with herbed aioli) $8
  • Arancini Balls (rice balls served with homemade lemon mayo) $12
Mains
  • Red Ravioli with Scallops (ravioli served with pan seared scallops) $21
  • Summer Steak (beef fillet steak cooked medium-rare, mashed potatoes & fondu) $26
  • Pork Belly & Chorizo (pork belly braised in citrus served with confit sweet potatoes, chorizo, mint & basil) $26
Dessert
  • Churros (Spanish doughnuts with chocolate sauce) $10
  • Raspberry & White Chocolate Cheesecake $5
  • Affogato $4.90
  • White Hot Chocolate $4.4
Whilst we were waiting for out food to come out, LT talked about her trip to Taiwan and presented me with a gift from Taiwan - Hello Kitty Pineapple Cake (a Taiwanese delicacy) and a pair of earrings!  Thanks LT! 

My gift from my LT
Food and presentation - 1/5
I can't remember the last time I've had such a bad meal at a restaurant!  I get terribly angry and upset when I get served bad food, especially when I'm hungry!  Now, let me take you through the horrid experience. 

Our entrées looked quite promising when they arrived, apart from the fact that they looked quite dark (a sign that the haven't changed their frying oil for a while), it was nicely presented.  However, the reality was quite different.  Our crispy potatoes were not crispy, it was like they had fried them before hand and then reheated it in the microwave, they were soft and not particularly tasty, luckily it came with some sauce. 

Crispy Potatoes $8
Next was the eggplant chips which were slightly crispier but quite bitter, which meant that the eggplants were either not fresh, or that they don't know how to prepare eggplant.  This was really unacceptable so we asked the waitress whether the eggplant chips were supposed to be bitter, in which she answered all the eggplant she's ever had has been bitter.  The three of us were thinking in our heads, has she only had eggplant from here?  Anyway, our waitress did ask us whether she should ask the chef to change it to something else to which we said yes.

Eggplant Chips $8
The arancini balls were tasteless, fullstop.
Arancini Balls $12
Our waitress returned and told us that the chef was happy to exchange the eggplant chips to something else so we chose the chicken skewers which arrived minus the sweet potato. 
Chicken Skewers (chicken & bacon served with sweet potato & lemon sage) - complimentary
We were hoping that our mains would be better than the entrées but unfortunately it was probably worse.  The red ravioli did not look very appetising for starters, the pasta was too thick and the filling was very watery and tasted like French onion dip.  The scallops were also slightly overcooked and very small. 

Red Ravioli with Scallops $21
The steak was cooked a perfect medium-rare but the sauce was horrible - it tasted and smelled like vomit.  We scraped off the sauce so that we can don't waste the steak which was cooked so perfectly.  The pork belly was really dry and tough, the chorizo was not good quality chorizo, the dish was just drenched in oil and just wasn't very good at all.  Yes, mains was also disappointing.
Summer Steak $26
Pork Belly & Chorizo $26
You would think that we would go somewhere else for dessert after all the bad food we just had but we were too lazy to drive somewhere else, there wasn't much choice in the neighbourhood and we thought surely churros, cheesecake and drinks can't be that bad?  Wrong.  Our churros was quite dark in appearance, was doughy and not crunchy on the outside, and the chocolate sauce that accompanied the churros was also nothing to be desired for.  SA and I thought the cheesecake was edible but LT said it tasted like cardboard and that her hot white chocolate did not taste like white chocolate, it was just frothy milk.  SA however thought her affogato was not too bad.  Overall, it was a horrible dining experience and as LT stated, wasted calories.
Churros $10
Rasberry & White Chocolate Cheesecake $5
Affogato $4.90
Hot White Chocolate $4.40
Service - 2/5
Our waitress was a bit of a blur, she didn't seem to know what she was doing and seemed very distant.  However, all the staff were polite but there wasn't really much service; at least they exchanged our eggplant chips.

Atmosphere - 2/5
There was no atmosphere at Kinky Monkey.  There were hardly any customers and I'm not sure if they are usually busier.  The décor was cheerful enough but I wasn't too sure about the artwork they had up on the walls. 

Value for money - 1/5
For nearly $40 per person after the Entertainment card discount, we still thought it was too much to pay for what we were served.

We are definitely not returning to Kinky Monkey.  No way!

Taste Test Total Score 6/20

Kinky Monkey on UrbanspoonEntertainment Book 2013/2014 Information
Section B - Café and Bistro Dining
Page - B99
Offer - 25% off the total bill up to $30 value


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